Mugged in California : A parody of Hotel California, a song by the Eagles

In a dark ghetto streetway,
me and two friends walking there,
torn socks of FILA
all lying under a strand of dandruffed hair

I camped my butt in a very small tent
and watched the extremely dim lights..
My twin brother said he saw a gangtaah ride being pulled over
"Hey KP, balls to the fucking lights"

"Sam" stood in the corner
He smelled like Taco Bell
And I was drinking by myself
My Tecate heaven and Amit "Paul" Singh's choice of ale

Sam said he was a vandal,
and he said he needs his pay
There was nacho sauce dripping down his corduroys
He failed in robbing food that day

Welcome to be mugged in California
Its the easiest way
such a cheap ass way
Such a fucked up way
There are plenty of streets to be mugged in California
Any kind of beer,
you can steal it here

The cigarette packet is simply unfit it's-
Not for your six friends
He said he's mugged a lot of greedy,greedy boys
Thats how he pays rent

Gaurav looked down at the ground:"Are,
theeeeeeeeese your pants?
Sam said:"I dont remember."
Fomra said:"You only forget"

So I called to the fat man:
"Pleeeeeeeease take these 1 ruppee coins"
He said:"I haven't had that intention here since
Dollars, cents and dimes"

And dead rat stink was coming
From Sam's giant large hands
They shake you up in the middle of the night
You better count your fingers then

Welcome to be mugged in California
Its the easiest way
such a cheap ass way
Such a fucked up way
There are plenty of streets to be mugged in California
Any kind of beer
you can steal it here

Toy gun in his back pocket
Loaded with warm Bud Ice
His bad breath
Kept us prisoners there
With a hell lot of spanish rice.
and in a nearby broken phone booth
He petended he's making ganstaah calls
We broke the chains and we ran for our lives
But you just can't kill these fleas!!

That Winter I remember
This guy was,stalking us in the dark
Had we the mind,had we turned our backs,
Our faces he'd knocked out to the floor.
But "Step back",said we...
"We are now going to leave...
You can mug anyone you like
But t just aint going to be me"

Do you wanna get Mugged?

Well me and two of my friends got mugged and this being my 50th post, i thought this is the kind of situation I could write a song about

The Bill Lumberg Band

Gaurav aka Gaurav- Mug Victim 2, Vocals (Scott Weiland style), bass
Formaldehyde aka Sudhakar - Mug Victim 1,Vocals,Shoelace Knots, Dance Performace with The White Rabbit Band
KP aka Karan- Official Mug Victim 3, Vocals, So called Lyrics, chaotic rhythm
Amit "Paul" Singh aka Amit - Guitar ( Stevie Ray Vaughn Style)
Sidlekar aka Siddharth - Vocals, Harmonica, YO HO HO without a bottle of rum

On Hoover Street, we were strolling, it was 4 am
Along came this latino, we told him his name was sam
Damn! he said "i don care i juss want to see some money"
So i shelled out a dollar and said "Hey man have fun doing laundry"

But boy did we realize he also ripped us off our empty matchbox
A couple quarters, a few coins, and a pair of dirty torn socks
As he left he said "Peace out Braa!" and a smile on his sly, happy cockeyed face
He fell a couple footsteps away as the "rabbit" had knotted his shoelace

We decided to let him have the dollar and we made him pay for a "mug" of java
He said "I aint having Coffee with Karan", I'll rather sip on some lava
Now KP was angry so he punched him hard and forced the coffee down his throat
As he lay surrounded by a pool of bile as if he had swallowed a raw goat

Just when were heading back home, along came a cop and he asked "Whats our DPA?"
We got confused and decided to do the same, we told him "Osama's Being Laid and he ran that way"
The cop got out and roared with the looks of a bull and teeth full of blood "NO I MEANT DRUNK POINT AVERAGE!!!"
So we told him we dont drink, we only smoke grass, its an easier solution to attain mind leverage

The cop removed a wave motion gun, injected heroin and then started to sob
He said i'll give y'all a lift home but first meet my boyfriend Bob
Bob was stoned and rather quiet, never spoke a word, only moved his hands but pretty much all over
So i gave him a synonym from Puppy Manohar's blog and told him "You're better off being sober"

We were finally home, another 12 pack to go, and it was 4 pm
I had food at a latino cafe, i thought to myself : "What a cheap scam"
Turned on the tube to listen to Chef Haphazard's (Def Leppard) "Lets get Mugged"
I dont know what they were talkin about but decided to mug someone off Atlas Shrugged



------------------------

A room full of music we wander in
Beautiful sounds arouse us from within
Where an eagle and a dinosaur are best of friends
Where night falls, the moon sleeps but the music never ends


In case you guys are wondering about the name of the band : The Bill Lumberg Band
just watch the movie Office Space and y'all will know that he is the coolest character in the history of cinema.

San Francisco Girl

She drives a used Beetle
She likes to play soccer
She lets me polish her nails
She hates it when they cry

She wears a denim jacket
She likes to read x-men comics
She gets a new piercing every week
She hates the taste of maggi

She wears Calvin Klein framed spectacles
She's trying to learn Sanskrit
She does believe in god
She hates the gentle murmur of simmer

She'd rather a strip club than Starbucks
She listens to Floyd and Queen
She's going to live with her mother..soon
She's a graphic designer but looks more like a waitress

She's a stoned fox
She thinks she can bowl well but...
She's got a huge appetite
She is hell on two heels

She wants to study Buddhism
She wears Suede Platform Giuseppe Zanotti shoes
She's a disco dose-a-pede
She's truly a foxy sorceress' breed

When the Red Foxes Dance

You mesmerise slowly
Till the moon cant believe its eyes
Your haunting shrieks control me
As the darkness penetrates the bloodred skies

The killer awakes at midnight
On a rusty bed in a cage of destruction
Silver smoke blinds my sight
A fiery soul and a machine makes its evolution

Without warning you make your moves
Silently as your jaws tear up the earth
In circles you beat the devil's ruse
Merry is your dance, wicked is your mirth

You put me in a trance
Ecstacy rushing in every stream of blood
When the red foxes dance
Cant feel the ground, i lie here charmed in your flood

Inspired from this pic that I checked out on "Queen of Lght and joy's " blog
Its the last pic on that post : Bonus picture ( Red Foxes)
Aweome pic: Kinda caught my attention
Really cool blog

That Goddamn! "I" Virus

I am thinking about....
The girl I met last night

I wonder...
If ever anything will last forever

I wish...
I could'nt feel

I regret...
Absolutely nothing

I hate....
People who ask you say "Cheeze" while taking your snap

I said...
I am going to hell and am taking you guys with me

I am...
A dreamer

I dance...
naked in my locked cell

I cry.....
sometimes to get a peaceful sleep

I get...
high all the fucking time

I see....
what I write ( should have been the other way around)

I confuse.....
people i dont like

I can....
write and play my own songs

I cant
play already played songs

I think.....
whoever started this idea is lame

I cannot believe....
I still wanted to blog this

I dont believe...
In the wars we fight just to prove how real we are

I believe...
In heaven here on earth

I need.....
You!

Evil Tulips and Sea Scorpions

Amidst the fire, a lonely blaze appears
Cowboy hat, a steel horse, a gun unfurls
From scorching shadows, soaring with high octane
Dragon's wings, out from the silent void, spitting flames

Eroding earth,battles with the killer nameless
Emerging chaos, now starts to rack the ground
Out with the gun and knife,the captain of two souls
Blood stained sword, back into the scabbard it goes

Swinging through the forsaken, the dry and the parched
In quest of a land with evil tulips and sea scorpions
In with the moonless black, stops by the holy stone
Succumbs to the wild grapes and rests the night all alone

Awoken by a deadly screech, dead rabbit skin between his teeth
Sharpens his knife, shines his sword,prays by the stone
Musket driven to the thigh,ivory pebbles to remind him of his girl
Strokes his horse,an honest kiss,like a storm, he rides back home

Confidently Confused

Was Today necessary??
and is tomorrow ever going to come??
Should i wait for yesterday to happen again??
or am i already living in the day after??

In Heaven, a new Poison

A job that tastes like steel
Ripping power with a burning feel
Takes the heat, rushing fervor in
Mostly outsiders, mostly my own kin
An allegorical dream of a piercing iron jawed caterpillar
Clipped out wings, yet exploding with electric roars of thunder
Lazy sun turns bloodred, stealing the fight
Darkness slowly empowers, Mephistopheles shunning the light
Defeaning silence broken down by merciless haunting veils
A paradise is lost,in heaven technology slowly mediates
Smoggy rusty road, like a poison,sweetly begins to unwind
Even in utopia, the peril aint running too far behind.

Swing Life Away

The words lost in my head
Left with mud on an empty swing
In the wake of barking dogs

Tomorrow will be today just as the day after
While a pocket is filled for a fortune teller
A parrot, a tarot card, fake rings of heaven's demise

In a flower someone foresees a brick full of walls
Grim and tall, yet hidden by a shadow of ten thousand suns
A kid runs towards his ball while he rolls away under a drunk driver's truck

In a hospital his mother shrieks like a wingless eagle
Someone dead, but the feelings are stunningly alive
I've been all around searching for that feeling

Hollow sounds generate when she and i meet
Like a cascade of drowning sandcastles
Not a fall but like a rising smoke which now sticks in my ribcage

Hope is strange, a currency for the one's who are fading
Dreams are a state, a toxicant while the truth and lies become one and the same
Life is small when the freeways are so wide but your mind in so narrow

Here's the warning: Click. Click. ..Boom!.... As the War Machine keeps burning

A half British, half Israeli teacher, living in Israel was discussing the ongoing middle east crisis and the situation in Israel in particular. She is an english teacher teaching kids how to read, write and speak english. She had asked her students to make a sentence including the words "Fortunately" and "Unfortunately".

One of the kids volunteered to initiate the challenge and came up with "Fortunately the bus arrived on time".... and some other kid continued it with "But unfortunately a suicide bomber got inside and blew the bus up"

Just imagine you are living in the middle east. One day you wake up to find that you're out of toothpaste. So you dress up and pick up some change and tell your mum that you're going to the shop to buy some. You almost reach the shop when BOOM! No warning, just BOOM! You along with a couple hundred are just dead. Some have not even had the chance to brush their teeth.

It seems to me a nightmare
Becomes reality
The last days of the paradise
Are gone for you and me
But we're living in the crossfire
Where time is burning out
Why cant these angst driven War Pigs
UNDERSTAND: that we dont want to fight
UNDERSTAND: that we are all far too young to die

Damn all you War Pigs!!!
It is pretty evident that you guys are truly fucking angry
and i understand that anger is the most honest human emotion
but if you can channel that into music or writing or making movies instead of killing people then it is so much fucking better.

Here are some alternative things you fuckheads should focus on instead of grilling the war machine:

• Learn to play better pool or billiards
• Become a video game freak and play Counter Strike all fucking day and in the night drink beer with your buddies and discuss how many animated, fictitious characters you killed.
• Get a real nice beautiful girl , get her one of those really expensive flowers, then get her pregnant and have kids.
• Since you’ll are so emotional anyways pick up a musical instrument and start a band and talk about hatred, anger, violence. Just don’t commit it.
• And the best of all: Smoke some weed and listen to Bob Marley. It is going to make you wanna throw away that shitty AK-47, run to a shop, buy a water gun and play Holi.

God bless all who died without a cause.

Peace and Love.

Addicted to Cancer

Just saw the CRAZIEST thing on Dateline: This woman convinced her entire community, including her 5 kids and best friends, that she had cancer. She spent 18 months collecting donations and having her friends pay for her to take trips... turns out she was faking. She convinced her kids she was dying!!!! Meanwhile, they had a video of her going to tanning salons and Walmart while she was supposed to be getting chemo?!!!

Meanwhile falling way behind the dateline, a similar situation had unexpectedly taken place in a small suburb in Bombay ranging further away from the suburb boundaries to what is better known as non existant. A girl named Priya became my ex girlfriend's friend through another friend and somehow convinced both these girls that her non existant boyfriend was suffering from cancer and just had a nooze full of days to survive.

I was returning from playing squash and as usual decided to crash at her place where i felt more home than anywhere else in the world. I had already begun munching on two heavily pounded triple layered cheeze sandwiches with absolutely zilch morsels of any kind of vegetables, when she came out with the palest face any gorgeous looking girl could ever wear.Yeah you're right! I mean what else could have happened? Definately she had not started to smoke!!..I mean..

Anyways so she starts telling me the story about this cancer kid, and yeah i am listening, thinking how i should maybe add a few pieces of tomato and cucumber and mix hot sauce, sweet onion sauce and spicy mustard sauce. That will taste just awesome. So the story kept going somewhere right above my head when she started telling me that that guy was obsessed with her poetry and that she has been writing to him and that he even stalks her but only because he is too embarrassed to show his "chemotherapy" induced self

WHAT???????
"YOU WRITE POETRY, YOU NEVER TOLD ME???..... i mean.. FUCK THE CANCER!!!!!"

So she continued doing so, till the day the dawn took his soul away. Yeah she was upset about the whole thing. She had just realized what the end of life meant- "D-E-A-T-H". Thats how her extremely lame and totally fake friend Shipali explained the feeling inside to me. But the funny thing was none of them had ever met this guy. I mean they had been emailing this guy who really was just Priya. I mean they wanted to go to the hospital to meet him but she did not allow them and they still never understood. It turns out that this Priya was just looking to make friends and would just do about anything to do so.
She even told my ex girlfriend that that cancer guy had left her an embroidered purse and an acoustic guitar for me.
By the time she had discovered the truth, she did not really give a fuck about the purse, but hey! I never saw my fucking guitar.

Its a totally crazy, mixed up and an imperfectly perfect unbalanced world
In some other place and some other time frame, I could have been a marine biologist or maybe just a tractor driver.
but the most i fear is life itself and how it can so easily tend to unwind.

…..and here there are people who are faking death or even worse, someone else's life and death.

Evil wears many different Halloween costumes!

Sometimes I wonder why do I feel nothing when i have killed an ant or ants for that matter
but have to think thrice before swatting a moth?

Peace and love

Access Denied

In like the dose that sticks in your bones
Out of reach, but you're out for more
In like the stone that grows in your soul
Out of time, but you've felt this way before

I've been stuck in mires
See the wars and crimes
I've been strangled by wires
We've been raised in dark times

In like the moon that creeps in the sky
Out to strike, but you cant hide tonight
In like the line in which you've longed to reside
Out with anger, but you've lost your strenght to fight

I've been blind
I tore out my eyes
You've turned away from my side
But i still feel the sounds of your voice inside

In like the pain that fuels up this game
Out of hate, but you cant feel love
In like the rain, that slowly infiltrates the tame
Out of freedom, but you've always had none

I've been dying
I choked out my spite
I've dreamt of flying
But my access has been denied

A rehab center for video games addicts???.... that too in fucking Amsterdam?? ..C'mon

ok
they dont have a rehab center for drug addicts, sex addicts and all other forms of addicts... i dont know maybe trannsexual addicts ..
In fact all of that shyte is fucking legal out there.


and now they have opened a rehab center for video games addicts.... IN FUCKING AMSTERDAM

HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???

Nicotine Man

Nicotine Man
Where are you
Thought i saw your face
But it was a silly mistake

Nicotine Man
Who are you
Thought you'll be my savior
But my soul's too late to save

So when you come around
I'll be long gone
Think you should get some sleep
You're filled with love and greed

Nicotine Man
How are you
Know you're brown from inside
But how do you feel otherwise

Nicotine Man
What are you
A sponsor for my torn boots
But do you even wear your own suits

So when you hang around
I wont even make a sound
Think i should get some sleep
You hurt my throat and made it bleed

Nicotine Man
Why are you
Sometimes with a hot blonde girl
Sometimes with me
But in a couple of deep breaths
You set yourself free

So when you disappear
How long does it take you to return
Think we should stay awake
And spit out all we fake.

Whatever happened?

I fell in love with a sweet sensation
I let my heart to a simple chord
I gave my soul to a new religion

Whatever happened to you?

Whatever happened?
Whatever happened to my rock 'n' roll?

I fell in trance with this dynamic energy
I went insane over this electric madness
I shoved my ears in these Laney amplifiers

Whatever happened to you?

Whatever happened?
Whatever happened to my rock 'n' roll?

I fell head over heels over these randomly organized strums
I let my heart beat faster than these Tama drums
I sat around with my friends getting high on Floyd and Zeppelin

Whatever happened to you?

Whatever happened?
Whatever happened to my rock 'n' roll?

I fell and tripped over my Les Paul cables
I heard Bohemian Rhapsody and my bones got stiff
I banged my head on all of Dave Mustaine's riffs

Whatever happened to you?

Whatever happened?
Whatever happened to my rock 'n' roll?

Yeah I fell in love with a sweet sensation

Jack The Ripper

If i could be a serial killer
I would be Jack The Ripper
Honey i am right behind you
Please make me unzip my zipper

I would sneak up when you least expect me
Slit your throat, a knife i'll make you see
Stalking the night through shadows by the wall
Prowling in the streets, i'll make your last night in town
A work of art in the most vividest form

If i could be a serial killer
I would be Jack the Ripper
No i woudn't hurt Osama or jerry springer
Honey i just want you, not even a stripper

I would bring in the storm with me
Blow you out screaming like a banshee
You would shake with fear not knowing that i am near
In any seedy back alley street, i'll make my steer
Give it to me honey, i've got an attack's thats kinda nuclear

If i could be a serial killer
I would be Jack the Ripper
They call me names like the "Demon From Hell"
But honey, you know me, i am way more hipper

I am sly and i am shameless, a sinner with no name
But honey, tonight i am gonna need you to drive me to fame
I am a nasty surprise, a devil in disguise
Here's my warning, i have done eight, you're my ninth try
And they say they will catch me, you know thats such a silly lie

If i could be a serial killer
I would be Jack the Ripper
Not even the son of sam or Ted bundy
Not even you or the girl who ate up my slipper

Helter Skelter

When I get to the picture
I go back to the top of the page
Where I stop and lure
and I stare at you for hours
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Do you don't you want me to play you
I'm spitting flames and the one they call the Lord of the Rings
Tell me tell me come on tell me the answer
and you are new but i am gonna get you

Go helter skelter
helter skelter
helter skelter
Yeah, hu, hu
I will you won't you want me to play you
I fight wars and in me i see a Nazi when i play you
Tell me tell me tell me the answer
You may be new but i am gonna get you

Its you who i adore
You'll never be a bore
We must never be apart

In you i shoot goals
In you i smash ghosts
In you i am a hitman
In you i crash cars

Look out
Helter skelter
helter skelter
helter skelter
Yeah, hu, hu
Look out cause here she comes

A fruit le mon

Don’t even remember where we were
Her love was like a game
The more serious that I took her
The hotter the sex became
I was eating lemon with fries
When her breasts flashed before my eyes
I found out how much i loved her
And all of her rage tonight

So as i take leave just know my state
I’d love to stay with you tomorrow
Please smile when you think about our fate
Your lies are real, i cant help but swallow

A fruit le mon
A fool is hereby born
An ugly secret to hide
A date with lemons fried
These are the last crumbles,i’ll ever eat
But i am broke to pay the fees

If my bed was still clean
I know the ashtray would spill again
And the blue colour slowly turning grey
There’s every reason to feel afraid

Anger is an easy feel
Tears are simpler
Its harder to remove knots
Than to burn the rope

Me re shi sca fo ha ski

Me, a beer, a flying dog beer
Ray,a blind brother who likes to jazz
She,a babe, I call her fun
Scar,a long hard way to burn
Few,are those who shoot needles and smoke green
Ha, a laugh to follow few
Ski,a sport that numbs your ass
That will bring us back to me...oh oh oh

Mahatma Gandhi wore a leather Jacket

My freedom fighters were spaced out tight
And all the imperialists were gathered in white
The country gates were opened up wide
And the Prime Minister wants to see me with his big red eyes

So I stepped up to the Rashtrapati Bhavan
The President was getting down
And as I ordered a round of drinks
He said I got a little story tell me what you think

Nehru used to sniff the lines
Tilak used to rock the boat sometimes
Indira used to charge her wet socket
But Mahatma Gandhi wore a leather jacket

All the women were gathered around
Shiny bindis and lace night gowns
And one started to lick my feet
She said the PM got a red light out on every street

Nehru used to sniff the lines
Tilak used to rock the boat sometimes
Indira used to charge her wet socket
But Mahatma Gandhi wore a leather jacket

My freedom fighters were blazed out tight
And all the imperialists were spilling out bile
The country gates fell down to the side
And the Prime Minister tried hard to explore my big red eye

Nehru used to sniff the lines
Tilak used to rock the boat sometimes
Indira used to charge her wet socket
But Mahatma Gandhi wore a leather jacket