The Saga Of My Driving License

DDGCGD

D

Got a Texas Driving License on a Tuesday

They draft the white trash here first by the way

Done four trips to the DMV, all my life

Came back home and i decided, i am done this time

Revved up my engine and i drove to downtown

Sat in my cubicle and i slammed it all down



GCGD

Now my manager, came along and he called me a slack

So i said, its all your fault and i gave him a whack

Put my feet, on the table and lit a cuban cigar

Stole his car keys and i disappeared into a bar

D ( 4X )

Solo on A and D

MP3s:

Pablo:


Pablo [Digitally Remastered] by Arjun:


Lazyeddy:



Ashtray on a Motorbike:

If Looks Could Kill

The nurse turned around
And she looked at me
She said she aint got the remedy
To set me free
I said i dont need the pills
So let it be
I am a little blind but if you undress
Then maybe i can see

If looks could kill, then baby i am ogling at you
If you're in for the thrill, then i am runnin up the prison for you
Whew!

The teacher strokes her hair
While her clip falls down
Waves rushing out
Like a smile in a frown
I said keep smilin' baby
cause we're gettin out of this town
I will make you my queen
And you will wear a crown

If looks could kill, then baby i am ogling at you
If you're in for the thrill, then i am runnin up the prison for you
Whew!

Kickstart this love machine
Break these bars of steel
I am lying here, without your feel
And dont look at me, cause i wanna kill

Yeah i wanna kill!

Zilch

Listless Wait
Young girls screaming
Urethane skate
California dreaming

Bright Lights shine
Dull cricket game
Juvenile fights and whine
Its all the same

Ticking clocks
Traffic Jam
Dandruff socks
Expired ham

James Bond spoof
Add to the shopping cart
Stay under the roof
Learn this art

Get the job done
A shallow heart
A web well spun
Stab me with a dart

A lie here
A lie there
Everything to fear
Nothing to spare

Bulletproof your mind
Six barrel shotgun
i am not your kind
i am no one

Ear drums dry
Run to the hill
Its time to fly
Without a pill

All that we are, we are Zilch
All that we are, we are Zilch

The pills dont work

2 kegs
Weak legs
Back hammered
Week shattered

Uninvited
Still late
Back Home
Keys are lost

Messed up
Drugged up
Internet tv
Snot 'n' Sniffy

Bedroom
Bathroom
Whatever you do
Stay out of my room

Look sick
Feel sick
Cheap flick
Masturbate it

No car
No house
No drive
Cant get a high five

Torn clothes
Dirt weather
Half friends
Dont change these trends

Head dull
Eyes red
Legs shake
For paranoia's sake

Fever thrill
Turmeric milk
Girlfriend's skin
Feels like silk

Give me the Pills

Standstill shadows
Offbeat mirages
Locked up doors
Iron plated cages

Restless sleep
Unaccelerated drive
Wounds slit deep
Fingers less than five

Trusted Lies
Halted time
Malice rise
Organized crime

Plastic guns
Cant handle stress
Homeless bums
Light the gas

A baby's head
Oil for free
Father's dead
murder in first degree

Skinless feet
A cheating wife
Face the heat
A cosmetic life

A scandal today
Hall of Fame
A six dollar pay
Its all the same

We got the bombs
Sex with three
Give me the pills
I am not free


Wake from this daze
Where the horizon meets the sky
Sleep with this laze
Carried on from last night's high

The Wrong Edge Of A Diamond

Shadows
Cast Deep Inside
Fill up the restless void

Shivering while the tan creeps around
Bottled safe inside are my confusingly varying plans
Compromised by cold momentary reminders of my nonexistent past

Awake, she tried desperately to wake me from my disturbing sleep
Sleep, she still snoozes in peace on a violin’s dream
Dreams, an eddy of a sober hallucination

Circles in a lost diamond
Trick the shadows
Inside

How very Iron Maiden.. I should have been their official songwriter

From the dark age of the icicles
The tyrant leads forward
Time decedes to hollow
The vulture takes on its prey
Darkness whispers a death
Cunning and sorrowfull
Day in and night out
Screaming crows and owls shout

Buried by sands of time
A new soul and machine is found
Engraved in the souls of men
Hell is perished and vitory is sought
The sword is raised, glory's unbound
Defeat is in sight, the Queen is crowned
The gold is taken, Satan is a mule
Evil decays, the brave are back to rule

"Any one can write songs
But that does not make him a songwriter"
.. Anonymous guy on 93.1 Jack FM ( Hell A radio station)

Right Said The Joker

I'm a chaser, a snatcher, a grade A bomb so nuclear,
I drink at every bar; I sell my disease to every patient.
I'm a screamer, I'm a geezer, I'm a twenty thousand watt amplifier,
everything feels like my playground now.

I'm a transformer,an impostor, my own bomb dismantler,
I am a virus in disguise, with only my eyes to hide.
i am a penetrator, a sinner, a bone chilling comforter,
My mirth begins when you are in deep sleep.

I'm a liar , a craver, a carbon monoxide infiltrator,
Wherever i go, trouble follows.
I'm a striker, a biter, a Vampire Motorcycle Rider,
Hey, but let me tell you about my Alter Ego.

I'm a cracker, a toker, I'm the funniest story teller,
I make believe the skies are under my feet.
I'm a snoozer, I'm a "Kramer", I talk faster than Chris Tucker,
I'm right here but way out of your reach.

I'm a stalker,a watcher, I'm a "whatever i've got, a holder" ,
I am an SAP configurator and i am still unemployed.
I'm a smoker, i'll make friends even with a stammerer,
I am just a little faster than your average lawn mower.

I'm a mocker, a conner, I am a spoon fed eater,
I am shy and talkative at the same time.
I'm a pepper, i'm a sweetener,and i can even be sour,

You see, mostly i am a confuser!!

Conspiracy Theories From The Garden Of Elves

Hey,

I know i dont have that many readers but in case someone's gonna read this post, please
listen to this song. Its a song by Pink Floyd, during the Syd Barrett years.
"Bike" from the album "Piper at the gates of dawn".
Here's the link:http://youtube.com/watch?v=AMbVtovh8sY

So i wrote a parody of this songIt goes something like this :
( I might be a little tone deaf but i think most of the beats are right )


I've got a theory
Thats kinda like a conspiracy
I only wanted inspiration
But i've smoked up all my motivation
I'd give it to you if I could
But i stole it from you

This is the kind of story that should fit in your world
I'll write anything
Everything if it has a reaction

I think that Kurt Cobain
never really killed himself
But was shot down by some drunk
On the railway track
I told this story to the journalist
But she told me i was a crack

This is the kind of story that should fit in your world
I'll write anything
Everything if it has a reaction

I know that Neil Armstrong
never landed on the moon
it was just a mutant mouse
who bought cat like features on lease
He's getting rather huge
And he ate up all that green cheeze

This is the kind of story that should fit in your world
I'll write anything
Everything if it has a reaction

I realized that George Bush was really just an alien
With seven hands
Four pair of cockeyed retina
And peanuts the size of two brains
They are on the streets for sale
But they are way too stale

This is the kind of story that should fit in your world
I'll write anything
Everything if it has a reaction

I believe that Kung Fu
Was invented by me
I can swing, i can nunchuck
I can get off even when i am stuck
I can take over the world
But i'll rather meditate

This is the kind of story that should fit in your world
I'll write anything
Everything if it has a reaction

I know a girl who likes to hear tales
some fake
some true
but most of them are conspired
Why don't we meet up
And we'll make them real

Lebanese Get Away Car Driver

Shoot me in my eyes
and let me know what you think

I am running out of words
And patience at the same time

If you dont wanna lunch
we can go to my place and have a drink

But if you're going to lie
Then you're commiting a serious crime

Whoa ho oo oo i wanna take you out
whoa ho oo oo somewhere far away
whoa ho oo oo we'll never come back
whoa ho oo oo from a secret get away

Ey Ey you're right!!!

You dont like the way i look
But you like the way i talk

Thats fine girl! cause when we kiss
You know we always close our eyes

Behind closed doors, up against the wall
we'll throw away the key to that greasy old lock

And by that time i'll be fine
with hearing absolutely no truth but only lies

Whoa ho oo oo i wanna take you out
whoa ho oo oo somewhere far away
whoa ho oo oo we'll never come back
whoa ho oo oo from a secret get away

Ey Ey you're right!!!

Ocean Girl

Ocean Girl
Hang in there
I know you can spot the land
But you cant touch
That's why you're down
And i am leaving town
Just to meet you there
So float in there

I am coming around
In my spaceship
I know you're scared of heights
But i'll handle that
Throw you a ladder
Made of rope
Fly you to my galaxy
Where we can be among stars

Scars, will all fade away
Like all the needles in the hay
Golden like your hair spray
Ocean Girl, wont you stay?

In a spiral escalator
Down the Black Hole
I know we'll get lost
But you know thats my point
Dodge the asteroids
Before we descend
In a Soar In Theatre
Watch the trilogy of "The Supernova"

Rising back
All the way to moon
I know its a bumpy ride
But i'll bolt the seat belts on
Start a business
Selling Stars'n'Cream
Build a house
All made up of green cheese

Breeze, will be blowing in
Like the scent of tonic water and gin
Silver like an electric lightnin'
Ocean Girl, this will be our sin

Shades Of Dust

I got lost in your dream
Moving slow and breathing free
A cleaner love with a dirty feel
Like a moon thats nailed to a tree

And then i forgot
Most of what was Everything
And then i realized
That all of that was nothing

Wear this mask of misery
My face has split into three
My soul is advertised for a lease
You wont like what you will see

And then i forgot
Most of what was Everything
And then i realized
That all of that was nothing

Oh , in this feeling of you
Shades of dust and sun
Go round
Oh, i've tried to blend in
But i could not put my feet
In your shoes

I wonder whats your point of view
I am still stuck on you like cheap glue
I hate myself because these feelings are true
You are glad that we finally are through

A parody of Annie's Song byJohn Denver

You threw up on my carpet,
Just like eating a raw goat,
Like having eight hundred degrees of fever,
Like having a shower in a sewer,
Like walking for hours in a desert,
Like taking a nap in the gutter.
You threw up on my carpet,
Oh how i wish it was yours

Come let me get you high,
Let me give my drink to you,
Let me drown you in alcohol,
let me let you pass out on this carpet,
Let me lay you down in your own bile,
Let me always do this to you.
Come let me wrap you in this carpet,
Oh how i wish it was yours

Since 1974 we've been hearing this song
Of Annie
Annie?
Who the f*** is Annie?

Blu Ray Burning!!!

Fast and picturesque
We store digital media
To be called as BD
That sets every optical illusion in sight

We are of high density
To produce high definition
For Whoever would
Be able to pay for its right

Born to lead
This digital universe
With short wavelengths
We spit blue violet laser

Blu Ray burning!!

With three interactive profiles
And a hard coating technology
Nothing can stop us
Not even Sony

With ongoing development
We have a base in paper
We have support from Java
Not caffeine but the software

Watch out HD DVD
We are the Killer bees
We transfer the data
At high breakneck speeds

Blu ray burning!!

Blu Ray burning!!

Because Ma Girlfriend's an MBA

Well, when I was only two
My mother dropped me on my head
I may have got the flu
But my right brain turned dead

Things were going bad
And they could only get worse
But it’s all right
Yea it’s all right

Well when I was in grade six
My voice began to crack
I was listening to guitar licks
But I sounded like a yak

(Chorus)

Things were going bad
And they could only get worse
But it’s all right
Cause
Because ma girlfriend’s an MBA
Yeay
You gotta hear what I say

About the time when I was seventeen
For the first time I fell in love
I was walking towards Halloween
For indeed, my heart she had to burn

Things were going bad
And they could only get worse
But it’s all right
Yea it’s all right

Wooh! Well, when I was twenty one
I started doing things illegal
I was getting higher than the sun
My body and soul slowly turning fatal

(Chorus)

Things were going bad
And they could only get worse
But it’s all right
Cause
Because ma girlfriend’s an MBA
Yeay
You gotta hear what I say

Around seven days earlier
I was drinking at a strip club
I was chatting up this girl
She used me like her cigarette stub
I told her I was a consultant
And I got lots of them monnnayyy
She said she loved that
And told me she was an MBA

(Chorus)

Things are going great
And they are only getting better
And it’s all right
Cause
Because ma girlfriend’s an MBA
Yeay
You better hear what I say

Cat People

There’s a ghost in the cat in my neighbor’s house
His wife, she’s a smoothie, never fails to arouse
His noisy kid plays the piano, has a room full of toys
His wife, she’s a girl, dreams of smoking with the boys

Me, yeah I am the mouse
Every afternoon within her blouse
So when the cat is away
The mice play a sweet game called “Which corner today?”

There’s a hole in the brain in my neighbor’s head
His eyes only see what I call a tribute to an empty bed
His avocado tree grows in the lawn and is big enough
His wife, she doesn’t care, she only lures for the rough

Me yeah, I am the mouse
Helping her break her vows
So when the cat is away
The mice play a sweet game called “Which corner today?”

There’s a black in the grey in my lifeless heart
My guilt, I buy from a magazine called “This Is How You Start”
My love, I steal from those who stand in a queue
My hate, is restricted to only a few

He, yeah he’s the cat
Not for the tits, but for the tat
So when the mouse sends shivers down her spine
The cats play a dull game called “That’s your corner, this is mine!”

A song for Bob Woolmer a.k.a " The Murder Of Bob Woolmer"

Bob Woolmer went to his hotel room
Shook his hands with the hands of doom
Slow dripping panic sweat, a cold embrace
Bats hurled, ropes twirled, your non Jamaican taste

Outside the Irish won
Beer mugs were on the run
The Kiwis were setting fire
While the crescent moon lowered

Chorus:
A "large man" they say he was
"Manual strangulation" was the cause
"No signs of forced entry" they say
Don't let the killers get away
No, No
Don't let the killers get away

Bob Woolmer left the World cup in disarray
Leading the super eight forecasts to go astray
While Indian media reports arrest in a haste
a murder mystery , a gossip theory, your typical Bollywood taste

A pity no one was there
No angels soaring in the air
No more days of match fixing
But the days of throat slitting

Chorus:
A "large man" they say he was
"Manual strangulation" was the cause
"No signs of forced entry" they say
Don't let the killers get away
No, No
Don't let the killers get away

Mugged in California : A parody of Hotel California, a song by the Eagles

In a dark ghetto streetway,
me and two friends walking there,
torn socks of FILA
all lying under a strand of dandruffed hair

I camped my butt in a very small tent
and watched the extremely dim lights..
My twin brother said he saw a gangtaah ride being pulled over
"Hey KP, balls to the fucking lights"

"Sam" stood in the corner
He smelled like Taco Bell
And I was drinking by myself
My Tecate heaven and Amit "Paul" Singh's choice of ale

Sam said he was a vandal,
and he said he needs his pay
There was nacho sauce dripping down his corduroys
He failed in robbing food that day

Welcome to be mugged in California
Its the easiest way
such a cheap ass way
Such a fucked up way
There are plenty of streets to be mugged in California
Any kind of beer,
you can steal it here

The cigarette packet is simply unfit it's-
Not for your six friends
He said he's mugged a lot of greedy,greedy boys
Thats how he pays rent

Gaurav looked down at the ground:"Are,
theeeeeeeeese your pants?
Sam said:"I dont remember."
Fomra said:"You only forget"

So I called to the fat man:
"Pleeeeeeeease take these 1 ruppee coins"
He said:"I haven't had that intention here since
Dollars, cents and dimes"

And dead rat stink was coming
From Sam's giant large hands
They shake you up in the middle of the night
You better count your fingers then

Welcome to be mugged in California
Its the easiest way
such a cheap ass way
Such a fucked up way
There are plenty of streets to be mugged in California
Any kind of beer
you can steal it here

Toy gun in his back pocket
Loaded with warm Bud Ice
His bad breath
Kept us prisoners there
With a hell lot of spanish rice.
and in a nearby broken phone booth
He petended he's making ganstaah calls
We broke the chains and we ran for our lives
But you just can't kill these fleas!!

That Winter I remember
This guy was,stalking us in the dark
Had we the mind,had we turned our backs,
Our faces he'd knocked out to the floor.
But "Step back",said we...
"We are now going to leave...
You can mug anyone you like
But t just aint going to be me"

Do you wanna get Mugged?

Well me and two of my friends got mugged and this being my 50th post, i thought this is the kind of situation I could write a song about

The Bill Lumberg Band

Gaurav aka Gaurav- Mug Victim 2, Vocals (Scott Weiland style), bass
Formaldehyde aka Sudhakar - Mug Victim 1,Vocals,Shoelace Knots, Dance Performace with The White Rabbit Band
KP aka Karan- Official Mug Victim 3, Vocals, So called Lyrics, chaotic rhythm
Amit "Paul" Singh aka Amit - Guitar ( Stevie Ray Vaughn Style)
Sidlekar aka Siddharth - Vocals, Harmonica, YO HO HO without a bottle of rum

On Hoover Street, we were strolling, it was 4 am
Along came this latino, we told him his name was sam
Damn! he said "i don care i juss want to see some money"
So i shelled out a dollar and said "Hey man have fun doing laundry"

But boy did we realize he also ripped us off our empty matchbox
A couple quarters, a few coins, and a pair of dirty torn socks
As he left he said "Peace out Braa!" and a smile on his sly, happy cockeyed face
He fell a couple footsteps away as the "rabbit" had knotted his shoelace

We decided to let him have the dollar and we made him pay for a "mug" of java
He said "I aint having Coffee with Karan", I'll rather sip on some lava
Now KP was angry so he punched him hard and forced the coffee down his throat
As he lay surrounded by a pool of bile as if he had swallowed a raw goat

Just when were heading back home, along came a cop and he asked "Whats our DPA?"
We got confused and decided to do the same, we told him "Osama's Being Laid and he ran that way"
The cop got out and roared with the looks of a bull and teeth full of blood "NO I MEANT DRUNK POINT AVERAGE!!!"
So we told him we dont drink, we only smoke grass, its an easier solution to attain mind leverage

The cop removed a wave motion gun, injected heroin and then started to sob
He said i'll give y'all a lift home but first meet my boyfriend Bob
Bob was stoned and rather quiet, never spoke a word, only moved his hands but pretty much all over
So i gave him a synonym from Puppy Manohar's blog and told him "You're better off being sober"

We were finally home, another 12 pack to go, and it was 4 pm
I had food at a latino cafe, i thought to myself : "What a cheap scam"
Turned on the tube to listen to Chef Haphazard's (Def Leppard) "Lets get Mugged"
I dont know what they were talkin about but decided to mug someone off Atlas Shrugged



------------------------

A room full of music we wander in
Beautiful sounds arouse us from within
Where an eagle and a dinosaur are best of friends
Where night falls, the moon sleeps but the music never ends


In case you guys are wondering about the name of the band : The Bill Lumberg Band
just watch the movie Office Space and y'all will know that he is the coolest character in the history of cinema.

San Francisco Girl

She drives a used Beetle
She likes to play soccer
She lets me polish her nails
She hates it when they cry

She wears a denim jacket
She likes to read x-men comics
She gets a new piercing every week
She hates the taste of maggi

She wears Calvin Klein framed spectacles
She's trying to learn Sanskrit
She does believe in god
She hates the gentle murmur of simmer

She'd rather a strip club than Starbucks
She listens to Floyd and Queen
She's going to live with her mother..soon
She's a graphic designer but looks more like a waitress

She's a stoned fox
She thinks she can bowl well but...
She's got a huge appetite
She is hell on two heels

She wants to study Buddhism
She wears Suede Platform Giuseppe Zanotti shoes
She's a disco dose-a-pede
She's truly a foxy sorceress' breed