Thursday, December 14, 2006

Mugged in California : A parody of Hotel California, a song by the Eagles

In a dark ghetto streetway,
me and two friends walking there,
torn socks of FILA
all lying under a strand of dandruffed hair

I camped my butt in a very small tent
and watched the extremely dim lights..
My twin brother said he saw a gangtaah ride being pulled over
"Hey KP, balls to the fucking lights"

"Sam" stood in the corner
He smelled like Taco Bell
And I was drinking by myself
My Tecate heaven and Amit "Paul" Singh's choice of ale

Sam said he was a vandal,
and he said he needs his pay
There was nacho sauce dripping down his corduroys
He failed in robbing food that day

Welcome to be mugged in California
Its the easiest way
such a cheap ass way
Such a fucked up way
There are plenty of streets to be mugged in California
Any kind of beer,
you can steal it here

The cigarette packet is simply unfit it's-
Not for your six friends
He said he's mugged a lot of greedy,greedy boys
Thats how he pays rent

Gaurav looked down at the ground:"Are,
theeeeeeeeese your pants?
Sam said:"I dont remember."
Fomra said:"You only forget"

So I called to the fat man:
"Pleeeeeeeease take these 1 ruppee coins"
He said:"I haven't had that intention here since
Dollars, cents and dimes"

And dead rat stink was coming
From Sam's giant large hands
They shake you up in the middle of the night
You better count your fingers then

Welcome to be mugged in California
Its the easiest way
such a cheap ass way
Such a fucked up way
There are plenty of streets to be mugged in California
Any kind of beer
you can steal it here

Toy gun in his back pocket
Loaded with warm Bud Ice
His bad breath
Kept us prisoners there
With a hell lot of spanish rice.
and in a nearby broken phone booth
He petended he's making ganstaah calls
We broke the chains and we ran for our lives
But you just can't kill these fleas!!

That Winter I remember
This guy was,stalking us in the dark
Had we the mind,had we turned our backs,
Our faces he'd knocked out to the floor.
But "Step back",said we...
"We are now going to leave...
You can mug anyone you like
But t just aint going to be me"

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Do you wanna get Mugged?

Well me and two of my friends got mugged and this being my 50th post, i thought this is the kind of situation I could write a song about

The Bill Lumberg Band

Gaurav aka Gaurav- Mug Victim 2, Vocals (Scott Weiland style), bass
Formaldehyde aka Sudhakar - Mug Victim 1,Vocals,Shoelace Knots, Dance Performace with The White Rabbit Band
KP aka Karan- Official Mug Victim 3, Vocals, So called Lyrics, chaotic rhythm
Amit "Paul" Singh aka Amit - Guitar ( Stevie Ray Vaughn Style)
Sidlekar aka Siddharth - Vocals, Harmonica, YO HO HO without a bottle of rum

On Hoover Street, we were strolling, it was 4 am
Along came this latino, we told him his name was sam
Damn! he said "i don care i juss want to see some money"
So i shelled out a dollar and said "Hey man have fun doing laundry"

But boy did we realize he also ripped us off our empty matchbox
A couple quarters, a few coins, and a pair of dirty torn socks
As he left he said "Peace out Braa!" and a smile on his sly, happy cockeyed face
He fell a couple footsteps away as the "rabbit" had knotted his shoelace

We decided to let him have the dollar and we made him pay for a "mug" of java
He said "I aint having Coffee with Karan", I'll rather sip on some lava
Now KP was angry so he punched him hard and forced the coffee down his throat
As he lay surrounded by a pool of bile as if he had swallowed a raw goat

Just when were heading back home, along came a cop and he asked "Whats our DPA?"
We got confused and decided to do the same, we told him "Osama's Being Laid and he ran that way"
The cop got out and roared with the looks of a bull and teeth full of blood "NO I MEANT DRUNK POINT AVERAGE!!!"
So we told him we dont drink, we only smoke grass, its an easier solution to attain mind leverage

The cop removed a wave motion gun, injected heroin and then started to sob
He said i'll give y'all a lift home but first meet my boyfriend Bob
Bob was stoned and rather quiet, never spoke a word, only moved his hands but pretty much all over
So i gave him a synonym from Puppy Manohar's blog and told him "You're better off being sober"

We were finally home, another 12 pack to go, and it was 4 pm
I had food at a latino cafe, i thought to myself : "What a cheap scam"
Turned on the tube to listen to Chef Haphazard's (Def Leppard) "Lets get Mugged"
I dont know what they were talkin about but decided to mug someone off Atlas Shrugged


A room full of music we wander in
Beautiful sounds arouse us from within
Where an eagle and a dinosaur are best of friends
Where night falls, the moon sleeps but the music never ends

In case you guys are wondering about the name of the band : The Bill Lumberg Band
just watch the movie Office Space and y'all will know that he is the coolest character in the history of cinema.